"Ironically enough my addictions in life are the only things that never seem to abandon me. They are always there. They're all I have. Without them, I'm 100% alone, and I'm not sure I could bear that. Who would want to love someone as delusional as that? I lie to convince myself not to end it all. I lie to convince others not to think I'd be right to do so. I don't exist in the truth, therefore I do not speak it. I could love someone like me. That to me, is ironic."
It's not easy to be so open. Those words are from the darkest time in my life but I believe it's important for people to know that it's never too late. You're never too gone. Another great verse that was mentioned in the bible study was John 9:25. A blind man Jesus had healed with was able to simply and effectively express the facts of his experience. "Whether he is a sinner or not, I do not know. One thing I do know is, I was blind and now I see."
PEACE
6 comments:
John 8:32 And you shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free.
Christie,
Thanks for including us in this journey. All of us can relate to a time in our lives that we felt alone. A portion of the Switchfoot song "This is Home" says this: Belief over misery
I've seen the enemy
And I won't go back
Back to how it was
And I've got my heart
Set on
What happens next
I've got my eyes wide
And it's not over yet
We are miracles
And we're not alone
Keep it real...;)
Made me think of this verse from an old Charles Wesley hymn:
Long my imprisoned spirit lay,
fast bound in sin and nature's night; thine eye diffused a quickening ray; I woke, the dungeon flamed with light; my chains fell off, my heart was free, I rose, went forth, and followed thee. My chains fell off, my heart was free, I rose, went forth, and followed thee.
Man, this reminds me of the extent of God's grace and how He loves us when we don't even want Him. Oh how I take His love for granted!!
Celle and Zach -- wow. The whole Tubbins family just amazes me. You guys have been through it all and still you have a amazing faith.
I'm so inspired by you, friend!
Thank you so much for being willing to share how God has/is moving in your life. Over the years you would randomly come to my mind and I would stop and pray for you. I plan to make it a more frequent occurrence. I love you dearly and miss you.
C Tubbs. . .Stew shared your blog site with me. I am amazed at the person that you have become, and I am so proud of you (always have been). You are in my thoughts and prayers. K Head
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