For the birds...

My parents, embracing the latter part of their life (kidding) have decided to turn our back yard into a replica of Ace Ventura's veranda.  We feed all stray animals, birds, squirrels, the occasional child, etc.  Part of this includes a small bird feeder hanging on one of the wooden posts of the back porch.  

I come out to the back porch to have a nice cup of joe & to my surprise, there are like 800 birds covering the bird feeder, the surrounding rails, and the tree onlooking.  It doesn't take long for these birds' activities to draw me in. I'm watching, and all of the sudden, it's high school out there.  Although there's more than enough bird seed to go around, there's a small group of the birds that have fully dominated the feeder and aren't allowing ANY other birds to tread on what is now their territory.  I LOVE when things in nature prove that we too, are all a bunch of selfish animals.  Now these birds are legit.  They've got that feeder on lock and if an outsider tries to jump on and snatch a seed, they'd better be ready to take a pretty nasty peck down, because from where I'm sitting, that doesn't..."fly"(athank you).  There's even you're token odd ball bird who, bless his heart, is a dangerous shade of orange, a little rounder than the rest of the birds and has markings around his eyes that suggest he also wears glasses.  

So I get all noble.  I'm thinking, "these birds should just share and quit pecking each other. There's plenty to go around."  I thought about going over and "shooing" the mean birds away and giving the other guys a chance and I kid you not, the alpha bird kinda intimidated me.  What started as a courageous act of kindness ended in, "well...I don't want him to peck me and embarrass me in front of everyone."  I choked. 

Then I thought, watching the birds, this must be how God feels at times.  Although there's plenty to go around, and there's much more where that came from and you're better off trusting that and loving one another, we all feel the innate need to survive by pecking each other off the feeder. He says no worries. He says he's got this.  

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear.  Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds in the air, they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"

-Matthew 6:25-26

*I go to the Dr. tomorrow for blood work, then the 27th for my 2nd treatment.*

1st Treatment

Well, although I wasn't expecting to, I had my first treatment today. We went in this morning at 10 to get the results of my pulmonary and echo tests and to meet with the doctor. Since both tests came back normal (hey im normal?) they were like, "Ok, we start today." I was like...um....WHOA?! Gimme a moment. But they let me go eat lunch and come back & then we went into the treatment area, which was kinda ballin'.  Each area had it's own little recliner & t.v. I was thinking, "Be careful...you don't know me, I might move in."  Anyway, just got home & took a shower and i feel really good. They gave me a ton of stuff for side effects before it even began so we should be okay.  I will get one treatment a week, then a week off, and so on.  So it'll be 6 cycles. 12 weeks. So....one down. Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers! More updates to come. MUCH LOVE

PEACE

Stir to the crazy

So...ever since I've been back in the Boss, aka Bossier, I've been a little...well....how do I put this...worthless.  I could tell you the entire lineup in 30 minute intervals of TBS and Lifetime but don't worry, I won't.  The last 4 months of my life I was fairly tied up with running 3 overly committed children around town but call me pathetic, it gave me a purpose! My personality is I NEED to be needed. And I'm pretty sure Home Improvement would keep on airing despite my loyalty. And I'm loyal.  I just wish there was a "Wilson" peering wisely over my back yard fence with some advice on my perils.  What the heck am I supposed to do all day? Really?  I'm asking. 

My most exciting news today was a  letter from the LSU Science Center thanking me for my participation in their tissue banking program. I'll take it.  

PEACE

Bad Hair Day

So just a quick update.  I go to the Dr. tomorrow for a follow up on the foreign object that was implanted last week.  (So many jokes available for that remark...so little time) On Wednesday I'll go meet with my doctors to make out a chemo schedule.  That'll never be a normal sentence for me to say. I'm discussing a chemo schedule? Wow.  It still hasn't fully set in I don't think.  I was sitting down earlier watching T.V.  I had just washed my hair so it was damp and all wavy.  I was shaking my head back and forth slowly causing my hair to hit my face.  Smelling the cucumber melon shampoo, tugging at it a little, twirling it, checking for split ends carefully.  For the first time since all of this began, I almost started crying praying, "God, please don't let me lose my hair."  Now, I'm a firm believer in praying for exactly what you're thinking. I mean, He knows what you're thinking anyway, right?  But lately I've been working on looking at things from other perspectives. Sometimes it's someone else's...sometimes it's God's. Just trying to remember it's not always about me. (even though it is. just kidding) So even though I don't want to lose my hair, and it's okay for me to pray about that, I prayed "God, keep my focus on YOU, if I lose my hair...okay.  It's just hair, it grows back."  

This isn't about me, or hair.  It's about trying in all things to see a different perspective, to ask God to help keep your focus on Him and His will and then watch him work on you. Watch the peace he brings. Because really at the end of the day, it's just hair. It grows back. 

PEACE

P.S- All of your feedback, words of encouragement have been more than you can imagine. Thank you all so much for being a part of it.